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December 20, 2010

In print again.

 

The Horror Zine has a new issue out, and this one includes my 'Claiming Number Eight' short story. I was never sure if that was horror or SF. Somewhere in between, I suspect. Or maybe both. I suppose horror tales will still be told in the future, so one day it won't be SF any more. Anyway, I'll let the readers decide for themselves.

Remember to look over the  rest of the fiction, poetry and art. The art is best viewed just before bedtime to provide inspiration for dreams.

I need darker dreams. Lately they have been plagued with puppies and bunnies and sunshine. I wake up completely devoid of cold sweat and haven't had a good scream for ages. It's just wrong.

Perhaps I should see a psychiatrist. Then again, maybe not. Cousin Phalanges once went to a psychiatrist and has never been seen since. I hear they shrink people.

I wonder how it's done?

 

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November 10, 2010

Magnetic marketing.

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Sometimes ideas come from strange places. I have no clue what possessed me to think of putting Foras's face on a magnetic card, but I suggested it to the artist who made the cover and she came up with something very special. That's not the original graphic. It's a photo of the finished product, and not a great photo. The original looks much better.

I'll distribute these now, and let people wonder what it's about until early next year. Then I'll start sending out the bookmarks and cards.

The image on the magnet fits exactly over the image on the bookmark. Exactly.  So there can be no doubt of the connection between the two.

Now all I have to do is distribute these little magnets far and wide. If anyone would like a handful, let me know on docdume (at) googlemail (dot) com.

They are free, naturally.

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November 04, 2010

Book signings.

I have around six months to figure out how they work and how to set one up.

I'm told it can be like throwing a party when nobody comes. Well that's no problem. I have often thrown parties when nobody comes. I have often sat in silent Dume parties and stared at the pile of invitations Senga spent so long writing and wondered if perhaps I should have posted them. An open fire hides a multitude of forgotten postings, and the cost of stamps would have made the party an economic disaster anyway.

The April deadline is now absolute. Jessica's Trap opens on April 30th, 1647 and the book release is scheduled for April 7th, 2011. That's the electronic version. The paper version takes a couple more weeks but it has to be available by Beltane Eve and I can't mess that up because I have spent money on advertising that depends on it.

Maybe I'll get my ex-assistant, Stumpy, to stand in for the book signings. He likes people and he doesn't seem to scare them away quite so comprehensively as do I.

This marketing thing is new to me, but it does look like fun. Especially when someone who knows about graphics is doing the images. All I need now is worldwide dispersal and that's where Stumpy comes in.

He'll talk to anyone.

 

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November 01, 2010

The marketing begins.

The contract for Jessica's Trap is all signed and done. I'm whispering the word in case Red Stan hears although since I've signed with Damnation Books, he's probably involved somewhere along the line anyway.

On the same day, the bookmarks and cards for promoting Jessica's Trap arrived. They look very nice indeed. I'll trickle a few out over the coming months but not too many, too soon. I had an Idea which a very talented artist is dealing with now, and which means I don't want to show my full hand too soon. Although if I ever lose concentration while feeding Caligula, I won't have a full hand to show.

Or even a hand at all.

 

 

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October 21, 2010

The Face of Foras.

 

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The cover art is complete. I can't put up the blurb until it's been sliced into individual letters and rearranged by an editor into an order that makes sense. That could take a while. The book will appear as both print and pixels in April next year, which is almost exactly 364 years since the date on the opening page - April 30th, 1647. Numerologists will have fun with that.

I have never seen an artist work so fast, and produce something exactly right with the first draft. If only I could do that with words. I hope she also does the artwork for Samuel's Girl and future books - assuming the same publisher accepts them, of course.

The cover shows Foras, chief of the demon group in the book. It's lucky the artist didn't choose Demdike for the cover. Nobody would dare pick the book up.

No, the picture isn't based on me, although the ghastly green pallor does make me wonder if we are related...
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October 16, 2010

Contract!

The contract has arrived so that's my weekend decided. I will check and double-check everything then send it away on Monday. I have a considerable amount of procrastination to get through but that will just have to wait. It's a shame, I hate being behind on my procrastination but some things just have to take priority.

Then the Editing begins. I have no idea how deep the cuts will be nor how many stitches will be required to seal the holes. The book must be ready by April because that's when the publishers plan to unleash, er, I mean release it. By then they might well have seen the second one and if I can get time in between bandaging Senga and fending off Caligula I'll rewrite the third and start the fourth.

There is also the matter of cover art, and I have gently informed Senga that her stick-figures and crayon attempts simply won't do. Caligula shows more promise. His installation of 'nailed rat' on the wall of his room shows creativity, imagination and wanton cruelty. However, he is far too young and dangerous to be let loose upon the publishing world. Perhaps when he's older. No, this is best left to professionals, I think.

It's going to be a busy weekend, so I expect visitors will arrive to get in the way. Death, Red Stan and the Professor have not been around for some time.

I hope they don't all turn up at once.
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October 03, 2010

Learning the business.

Senga has taken Caligula to stay with her parents for a few days. I was invited but I've met her parents and we have little in common, I've said everything I need to say to them and I hate repetition. We'd just glower at each other all the time and then Senga would get in a mood.

Long evenings spent in sullen silence are fun, but you can't really enjoy them if there's someone else there. There's always that possibility that they'll try to start a conversation just as you reach the Nirvana of gloomy contemplation, and just before you get a decent hold of that story idea lurking there.

So I have peace for a short while. It's a nervous sort of peace. I'm still waiting for that contract to arrive for Jessica's Trap. It might be worth letting the postman know that Caligula is away. There might be something of a backlog of mail waiting.

I have a film-maker lined up to make one of those 'book preview' short films but he needs the cover art but that won't even start to happen until I send back the form dealing with it but that form requires a 'date of signing and returning contract' section. It all hinges on the arrival of the contract. The moment that arrives, things start to move.

The publishing business isn't fast. I already knew that but hadn't experienced it before. I'm going to have to get used to a different pace of life. Still if there are long gaps between contacts, I can work on that third book.

In fact I'd better get some writing done while Caligula is away. He's good at disturbing me although to be fair, as he's growing he is at least learning only to howl at full moons. This makes the peak noise predictable, at least. Which reminds me - it's his birthday at the end of the month. I'll have to think of something he hasn't dissected yet.

Once the book is complete I'll have to go searching for reviewers. The Horror Zine has already promised one and if I can get anything like the ones here, here and here I'll be delighted. Well, I'm already happy about those reviews because I'm in that book. It's a pity all this didn't happen while Alienskin was active. Oh well, too much good luck in one go can be dangerous.

Speaking of good luck, I have a few days of peace to relax with nothing to disturb the distant groans of the Rarely-Glimpsed Slimy Swamp Thing, the faint rattle of ghostly chains and the far-off shrieks of the Ferals. It's like the old days.

I'd like to encourage Senga to take Caligula to his grandparents more often, but I suspect they won't be too keen to make it a regular thing.

They used to have a dog, you see.

 
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September 16, 2010

A place to put the scary stuff.

 

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I have no idea how to put this into a sidebar so I'll leave it here. Its creator works like a demon and might well be one, so it's best not to annoy her.

Just as Alienskin closed, the Horror Zine appeared.

I have to wonder if there is a plan in there somewhere. A diabolical plan.

The best kind.

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August 21, 2010

New tales from the darkness.

The Horror Zine has a new issue online, with new stories to delight your adrenal glands and tickle your pancreas. Many talented writers, poets and artists have been selected by the tireless editor for this issue, and she has even found time to write more of her own.

The first part of Jeani Rector's novel, We all Fall Down, is here, and you can get the whole thing here (for the UK, here). I have to visit Amazon soon anyway because I loaned my copy of Twice the Terror to Hamish McBookworm, he's passed it to someone else and now it's going around the village at a rate that suggests I'll never get it back. If I do, it will probably be all creased and I like my books pristine.

The news section is big this month, and starts with a short story competition that pays out prizes but is free to enter - my favourite arrangement for such things. Best get the thinking cap on. Mine really works because it's made of dried and cured cerebral cortex and has batteries. It even has a light bulb on top for those 'Aha!' moments. Not one of those eco-bulbs that take hours to warm up, but a proper filament bulb that comes on at once. I don't have all day.

At the bottom of this month's news is the little book of old stories I put on Lulu. That's free too, if you like downloads, and cheap if you prefer print. It's not there to make me rich. It's there to keep all those old stories I sold to magazines and Ezines that have since folded their final pages closed. Since first rights have gone for all but two of the stories in there, they won't sell again.

I'm not sure whether I'm a turncoat for abandoning the still-cooling corpse of Alienskin so quickly, or a parasite for latching on to the Horror Zine.

Oh well. Both are noble professions, embraced by many a Dume down the ages. Either will do.
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July 15, 2010

Fears of the old and the new.

 

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Well, I have my practice volume prepared for marketing purposes. It won't be easy. Lulu prices are on the high side because of the nature of their business, and postage can be steep in some places.
 
Therefore I have prepared the same book as an Ebook, which is cheaper and naturally has no postage costs attached to it. The stories are all previously published apart from two. Those two are so intertwined with other stories that they won't sell on their own, not this long after the others came out. It made sense to put them next to their linked stories.
 
Now to see whether I can sell any.
 
These days, it's not enough to be a writer. You have to be a salesman too. Art for art's sake is all very fine and good but it pays no bills.
 
This book won't pay any bills either but if I can get the marketing side of things right, then one day, when a novel comes out, I'll know what to do.
 
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June 09, 2010

Submitting to fate.

Well, actually to a publisher. I have worked up the nerve to attempt novel submissions once more. It's difficult to let them loose because they never seem quite finished. There's always an adjustment here, a tweak there, a scene that can be added or deleted.

Once in a while I think 'Okay, it's as near finished as it's likely to get' and send them out. This time I started with 'Jessica's Trap', the short one at 60,000 words. 'Samuel's Girl' is also finished but it might not be a good fit for the publisher I sent Jessica to. Samuel is much more in the horror genre whereas Jessica is more historical/paranormal. Even the demons aren't scary in Jessica's tale. They most definitely are scary in Samuel's.

Well, I'll have to wait and see what they think of Jessica first. If they accept, I'll offer them Samuel because it would be good to have them all with one publisher. That would give some consistency with cover art and make promoting them much easier.

First things first. I have to get an acceptance for one of them before I can worry about the rest.


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May 02, 2010

Coming your way, one dark night...

 

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For the cover of the Horror Zine's latest compilation of verbal and pictorial scariness, it gives me enormous delight to report that this likeness of the Reverend Chyme Duodenum, the priest who sentenced me to marriage until her death do us part, will be the first thing you will see.

The artist, one Dan Harding, has evidently visited the village here because his artwork draws on several local characters. He seems to have picked some of the less bizarre inhabitants but that's not surprising. Some of the others are pretty ugly. Nobody would want their pictures on their wall. It's a pity he didn't call in at Dume Towers but then if he had, those artworks might not be available so widely. Should he ever appear here I promise not to invite him in to be dinner.

Reverend Duodenum will be ecstatic when he finds his picture is in other places too. It appears here, just below the portrait of my mother-in-law, as well as here. The latter author seems also to have visited the swamp since he has written a documentary on its plant life.

Which reminds me. As the official chronicler of the Professor's escapades, it is time I geared up to sending those books out again. They'll never get published if I don't tell anyone about them and two of them have been ready to send for over a year.

The excitement of being in real print once again has galvanised me. So much so that there is now a shortage of zinc in the swamp. 

So, suitably rustproofed, I will look out my list of potential publishers and agents and send some queries over the weekend.

Look out for the Reverend Duodenum's picture on Amazon in a few weeks time. He is going to make the purchase of that book an obligation on both his congregation.

I don't think he realises that it's not a prayer book.

Although it might turn a few people towards religion.

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April 22, 2010

The dry spell has ended.

It's been some time since I had a story published. Mostly due to a combination of being busy and being lazy. However, thanks to the insistence of a certain author who is also the editor of The Horror Zine, I was galvanised into action, finished the editing on a story I've had waiting to be sorted out and sent for some time, and it was to the editor's liking. Well, I could never resist red hair. It's so like flame.

So The Colony Man is online and soon to be in print. Be warned, there is a photo on that page so make sure you are wearing eye protection in case of spontaneous monitor explosion. You will be relieved to hear it is the only one on the internet so you won't find one accidentally. There is also a link to Alienskin which you are obliged to click on because if you don't, well, the next time Death visits I might just mention that you aren't very well.

It's been a good day in many ways. Senga is in a good mood, little Caligula only tried to kill me twice and I finally found a party worth voting for in the next election.

All I need now is a visitor for dinner and it will be, at last, the perfect day. Those canvassers should start arriving soon.

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April 28, 2008

The excluded elite.

There is an intensely frustrating aspect to running a contest. Nobody told me about this.

See, now that I'm reading entries on toy horrors, I'm inspired to write one - but I can't allow myself to! I've just realised that I'm one of a very select group, one of around ten people on the entire planet who aren't allowed to enter this competition. So I have to keep quiet.

What if someone sends in a story based on the same idea? What if I mention my ideas here and someone thinks 'Damn, I was going to do that'? I have to keep my mouth closed, and have installed a handy zip for the purpose. (Before anyone says 'Damn, I was going to do that', it's already been done by Clive Barker in 'Cabal', later made into the movie 'Nightbreed'. Button-head had a zipper mouth. So I haven't cheated you, and if you can use a zipper-mouth doll, go ahead anyway).

So I have turned to other things for now. For instance, a new psycho killer in space story called 'Claiming Number Eight', some more tales of the Blackthorn family, a revamp of a few oldies for Anthology Builder,  and of course the search continues for an agent for the novel side of things. I'm keeping busy but thoughts still stray back to...no, must close the zip.

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April 16, 2008

Nepotism

I admit I was disappointed to find this has nothing to do with necromancy. Ah well.

It's something politicians do: give unfair favourable treatment to family and friends. Something that I might be accused of should any of those writers who know me (but who never visit, strangely enough) enter the current Alienskin competition.

So, if you are a Virtual Friend of Dume, I ask that you use another name for your entry. If it should win, you can let us know when you're told of this and we can put your real name on the story. For judging purposes though, if you know me, hide the fact. Shouldn't be too hard. Most who know me are loathe to admit it anyway.

For everyone - keep them coming and be sure to read the guidelines first. You can only enter once, so if you screw up, all you can look forward to is the hoot of derision echoing across the swamp from Dume Towers. There are a few good ones here already but keep sending - it's good practice even if you don't win.

Remember, you've nothing to lose. There's no entry fee and those that don't win aren't published, so you can still sell the first rights.

I keep your soul though.

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April 03, 2008

A Dume and his money...

...are seldom parted. Yet there is to be an exception to this immutable rule, after all these years. My ancestors' skulls have all turned their faces to the wall in disgust.

Alienskin are running a competition. I will judge this, with my usual tender care. Fear not, I have warmed up the tenderiser. Take a look and enter if you dare. The prize is high. Cash, free clothing and publication, all in one. Winner takes all.

I'm only going to mention one rule here. Read the damn guidelines. If you don't follow the guidelines, not only are you certain not to win but I will personally sneer at you. I'll print the story just so I can tear it up and burn it. You have been warned.

In the new issue (out now - I forgot to mention that!) there are more Hall of Shame failures. It's bad enough being in there but responding to rejection with 'You can't reject me. I'm better than you' is just stupid. Yet there's one in that list who did. You know who you are. You are not barred from entering this competition but be aware that you've already biased me against you. So it had better be good, and it had better fit the guidelines with millimetre precision.

The rules don't say 'no poetry' but take it from me, poetry won't win. Alienskin's overall guidelines apply and one of those is...no poetry. Unless you can write an entire horror story in the style of Dr. Seuss. I'd really like to see that. Don't take that as a challenge unless you can do it really, really well.

I've scanned this issue's stories in case there were any toy stories already up. I saw none, but I haven't yet read all the stories so I might be wrong. If there are, well, you can't re-use them. No second-hand stories.

Read the guidelines, and read the article for hints. Then write. Then rewrite. Check and double-check spelling and grammar. Then send, and cross any crossable bits you might be blessed with.

Good luck, and remember - a Dume doesn't part with money easily. It needs to scare me more than the thought of parting with money.

Now that's scary.

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March 25, 2008

The New-Fangled Way.

The trouble with anthologies, as a reader, is that they usually contain roughly 50% of stories I like and 50% of stories I'm not interested in.

As a writer, the troubles with anthologies are manifold. One, they're difficult to get into. There's only so much space and most of it is already occupied by invited authors. Slots are few. Competition is fierce.

Two, do you promote it? You're only one author within the collection. Any promotion you do benefits the others, but how do you know if they're reciprocating?

Three, they're usually one-off small payments because it's a pain for the editor to keep divvying up royalty cheques into small amounts. So you're paid, that's that, there's no reason to push the book. Chalk up one publishing credit and move on.

The electronic age contains a solution to all these problems. A pick-and-mix anthology. Choose your stories, order the book and wait for the postman. One bound book with the short story collection you chose. Huge thanks are due to David de Beer for telling me about this. So, as payback, I'll mention he has a story coming up in the June/July Alienskin magazine.

For the reader, this is great. You choose every story so there are no duds in there.

For the writer, it's even better. Instead of fighting for space in a single anthology, your story sits in a list. Readers can choose to include it. Okay, maybe nobody ever will but it costs nothing to leave it there. You have an incentive to promote the story (which is what I'm doing right now in case you hadn't guessed) because you're only promoting your own work. The more anthologies it gets included in, the better your name gets known.

Since it's a royalty-payment system, your earnings also depend on inclusion in anthologies. Don't expect to get rich by this route. The money is small but the kudos is large. Your story--indeed, stories--could be in many anthologies chosen by many people. Getting your name recognised is a Good Thing if you want to stand a chance in the bigger pond, where the novels fight it out on shelves.

I've saved the best bit until last. The stories don't have to be first publications. In fact, Anthology Builder prefers stories that have been previously published in a paying market. This is a place for stories that have been published, after the first rights have expired and the story is yours again. Note - be sure the rights have reverted to you first or you'll be in trouble.

Good news for paying markets, too. The story is listed on the site along with the market it was published in and the year of publication. Publicity is always good.

So how do you get your stories in? First, read the guidelines. Then read them again because I know you only skimmed them first time. Make sure your format is right and your story fits in one of the categories they're looking for. There are lots of categories. Second, sign up. The price tag attached to this is my favourite one. Free. Finally, submit and wait for a decision. That's all there is to it.

Oh, and while you're there, buy yourself an anthology. Be sure to include 'The Hand that Feeds', which first appeared in AlienSkin in 2003. It's there under my pen name, Kevin Hillman.

I intend to submit more. Eventually, enough to fill an anthology on my own.

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September 22, 2007

Out of the swamp.

Today I actually left Dume Swamp for the first time ever.

The occasion was indeed a great one, as it must be for me to leave these comfortable environs. I was so overcome with euphoria I even managed to ride the weekly bus without throwing up.

Someone invited me somewhere!

To be precise, I visited a place of fantasy, a place where cruel people live. It was a delight to discover that there are such places. It gives me hope for the world.

The place I visited is here: http://toasted-scimitar.blogspot.com/

I left a few words to prove I was there, and dashed off home before I had to actually meet anyone. It was wonderful to be invited away, but it's good to be home.

Although Stumpy has made something of a mess while I was away. Next time I'll lock him in a dungeon for the duration.

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June 08, 2007

New Alienskin available.

The new Alienskin mag is online, and I have a little article within its pages on the merriment that can be drawn from tales of terror. Many, many excellent stories as always, but none by me.

All my short stories turn into novels these days. Where is the Dume brevity, the bone-snap of flash fiction, the quick neck-twist of the short story?

I have inspiration, and I've stopped taking the tablets for it so all is not lost. On YouTube I found the old Beatles song 'I am the Walrus', and its unusual lyrics made sense to me. In a short story sort of way.

'The Walrus' is gestating. I'm going to let it simmer overnight and see what floats to the surface.

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April 04, 2007

The horror, the horror.

The new issue of AlienSkin magazine is now available and free to read.

You don't want to miss this one. The fantasy article is about death, the science fiction article is about horror, and my own contribution has a smattering (should that be a spattering?) of gore also.

Best hurry on over there. You only have two months to read it all.

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