Dr. Dume ~ The Doctor is In

There is an intensely frustrating aspect to running a contest. Nobody told me about this.

See, now that I'm reading entries on toy horrors, I'm inspired to write one - but I can't allow myself to! I've just realised that I'm one of a very select group, one of around ten people on the entire planet who aren't allowed to enter this competition. So I have to keep quiet.

What if someone sends in a story based on the same idea? What if I mention my ideas here and someone thinks 'Damn, I was going to do that'? I have to keep my mouth closed, and have installed a handy zip for the purpose. (Before anyone says 'Damn, I was going to do that', it's already been done by Clive Barker in 'Cabal', later made into the movie 'Nightbreed'. Button-head had a zipper mouth. So I haven't cheated you, and if you can use a zipper-mouth doll, go ahead anyway).

So I have turned to other things for now. For instance, a new psycho killer in space story called 'Claiming Number Eight', some more tales of the Blackthorn family, a revamp of a few oldies for Anthology Builder,  and of course the search continues for an agent for the novel side of things. I'm keeping busy but thoughts still stray back to...no, must close the zip.

Posted by Dr. Dume at 10:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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I admit I was disappointed to find this has nothing to do with necromancy. Ah well.

It's something politicians do: give unfair favourable treatment to family and friends. Something that I might be accused of should any of those writers who know me (but who never visit, strangely enough) enter the current Alienskin competition.

So, if you are a Virtual Friend of Dume, I ask that you use another name for your entry. If it should win, you can let us know when you're told of this and we can put your real name on the story. For judging purposes though, if you know me, hide the fact. Shouldn't be too hard. Most who know me are loathe to admit it anyway.

For everyone - keep them coming and be sure to read the guidelines first. You can only enter once, so if you screw up, all you can look forward to is the hoot of derision echoing across the swamp from Dume Towers. There are a few good ones here already but keep sending - it's good practice even if you don't win.

Remember, you've nothing to lose. There's no entry fee and those that don't win aren't published, so you can still sell the first rights.

I keep your soul though.

Posted by Dr. Dume at 11:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Read this a couple of times…

Some ghouls will
Some ghouls won’t
Some ghouls eat a lot of lovers and –a
Some ghouls don’t.

I know I’ve gnawed the femur but
I don’t know why
Some say they kill
And some ghouls lie

Once that’s in your head, have a listen to this joyful ditty from 1979. Does it seem quite as it should?

I hope not.

 

Posted by Dr. Dume at 12:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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...are seldom parted. Yet there is to be an exception to this immutable rule, after all these years. My ancestors' skulls have all turned their faces to the wall in disgust.

Alienskin are running a competition. I will judge this, with my usual tender care. Fear not, I have warmed up the tenderiser. Take a look and enter if you dare. The prize is high. Cash, free clothing and publication, all in one. Winner takes all.

I'm only going to mention one rule here. Read the damn guidelines. If you don't follow the guidelines, not only are you certain not to win but I will personally sneer at you. I'll print the story just so I can tear it up and burn it. You have been warned.

In the new issue (out now - I forgot to mention that!) there are more Hall of Shame failures. It's bad enough being in there but responding to rejection with 'You can't reject me. I'm better than you' is just stupid. Yet there's one in that list who did. You know who you are. You are not barred from entering this competition but be aware that you've already biased me against you. So it had better be good, and it had better fit the guidelines with millimetre precision.

The rules don't say 'no poetry' but take it from me, poetry won't win. Alienskin's overall guidelines apply and one of those is...no poetry. Unless you can write an entire horror story in the style of Dr. Seuss. I'd really like to see that. Don't take that as a challenge unless you can do it really, really well.

I've scanned this issue's stories in case there were any toy stories already up. I saw none, but I haven't yet read all the stories so I might be wrong. If there are, well, you can't re-use them. No second-hand stories.

Read the guidelines, and read the article for hints. Then write. Then rewrite. Check and double-check spelling and grammar. Then send, and cross any crossable bits you might be blessed with.

Good luck, and remember - a Dume doesn't part with money easily. It needs to scare me more than the thought of parting with money.

Now that's scary.

Posted by Dr. Dume at 06:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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