I have been ill, and so has Stumpy. The Professor's last visit left us with a little legacy: a face-dissolving virus. He's ill too. Serves him right.
Stumpy looks as though his brain has melted and run out of his nose. Who'd have thought he could have blown his brains out with only a handkerchief? Lucky for him I have a few spares. They're soaked in formalin, but a quick rinse uder the tap and they'll be fine. Good enough for him anyway. He won't need a working one, just something to stop the wind whistling through his ears.
On a less vile note, the new issue of AlienSkin is online, with new stories and new features.
No more pussyfooting around on the guidelines. You don't read them, you don't get considered. Unless you happen to hit on the right format purely by chance. If you want to take the risk, well, fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. Check out the new features first: one of them is the Hall of Shame, where guideline-ignorers are chained to the wall for two months while demented mutant badgers throw live crabs at them. Not just any old crabs either. These have been specially irritated for this very purpose. We held them down and let whelks taunt them for hours. They're really, really mad. Mad as the badgers.
Do it twice and I'll send Stumpy to sneeze at you. Believe me, you don't want that to happen. He has a very large nose with an impressive capacity for mucus, and he can propel it at considerable speed. I have to give him ten out of ten for splatterability. The castle is getting to be greener than the swamp, and damper too.
So, if you prefer to use your own guidelines rather than those dictated (not 'suggested') by your magazine of choice, don't be surprised if you get bounced. Do it at Alienskin at your peril. We like tormenting people.
But surely, nobody out there would even think about ignoring guidelines when submitting?
While you're in, take a look at the new micro-fiction section, with tales of 150 words exactly. Not as easy as it sounds.
Try. I dare you.
